Today it is out of fashion to speak in terms of character. But there is no more essential aspect of any person.
Character is made up of those principles and values that give your life direction, meaning and depth. These form your inner sense of what is right and what is wrong based not on laws or rules of conduct but on who you are.
They include such particular qualities as integrity, honesty, courage, fairness and generosity — which arise form the hard choices we have to make in life. So wrong is simply in doing wrong, not in getting caught.
Some people wonder if our inner values matter anymore. Many have come to believe that the only things we need for success are talent, energy and personality. But history has taught us that who we are is more important than who we appear to be.
With a value system based merely on skill and personality, we see athletes. But despite the admiration we feel for these achievers, we shouldn't necessarily look upon them as role models. While skill is certainly needed for success, it can never guarantee happiness and fulfillment. These come from developing character.
You can begin to build character at any age. The key is learning how to look within — to work inside out.
With the inside-out approach,private victories precede public victories. Private victories are simply promises you make to yourself and others and then keep. They don't have to be profound or life-changing, like a career change. They can be as ordinary as a commitment to exercise everyday.
A promise like this may sound unimportant, but it represents the hard choices we face in everyday life. The first step toward building character is to tackle a hard choice, commit to change and stay with it.
Day by day, as you make and keep increasingly challenging promises, you will be making deposits in your "character account". What begins as great effort will eventually become habit. As you get into the habit of building character in the smaller areas of your life, your ability to develop character strength in more important spheres will grow.
There is no more essential element for character growth than trust. Whether it's trust we earn from colleagues or family memers, it is built slowly over time in an infinite variety of circumstances.
One of the most commonly overlooked ways to bulid trust is to be loyal to those who are not present. Suppose you and I were criticizing our boss behind his back. What will happen if you and I later have a falling-out? I will bad-mouth you.
Now if you were to criticize the boss, I would suggest we go to him and explore how things might be improved. You may assume that I would act with equal respect if someone were to criticize you.
